Last time I saw a St. Louis Post-Dispatch, it had a legal disclaimer on its horoscopes, which says more about lawyers than astrologers.

    I suspect most men my age learned about astrology through such in-depth research as "Hey baby, what's your sign?" and never progress any further with either the Zodiac or the woman.

    Research shows a lot of astrology can be explained via sweeping generalities -- the influence of the outer planets, for instance, covers entire generations, which is certainly convenient. And the iron law of coincidence dictates you only remember the things that happen, and not the predictions which fizzle.

    My faithfulness in reading horoscopes was never matched in my faith in their accuracy, but then again, 16 years in the news business taught me how accuracy is very overrated vis-a-vis the truth.

    And so it was that one night, one of those nights where you're so tired you're taking a break but you don't even leave the chair, on one of those wobbles, I impulse-clicked at Excite's Horoscope Page to see a free chart and reading.

   Without further comment, here's what the stars had to say. The question is if it is describing me or you.

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Section 1: How You Approach Life and How You Appear To Others

High-spirited, enthusiastic, and exuberant, you love adventure, change, exploring new territory, and are not happy confined to the same safe, familiar, secure little world all the time. You have a strong restlessness and yearning for something greater than anything you've yet experienced, and you often live in your dreams and visions for the future. You tend to believe that the grass is greener somewhere else and you like to keep moving, either literally or figuratively. Idealistic and optimistic, you always expect something better ahead. You love to have a goal, something to aim for, but once you achieve it you are on to something else. You are ever on the lookout for new opportunities and you are a gambler, willing to take risks and to break new ground. The possibility of discovering something new is what makes life interesting for you. You have great faith in life and bounce back quickly from disappointment and failure.

Freedom-loving and independent, you cannot tolerate being caged for very long, and friends and loved ones must respect your need for freedom of movement. Binding commitments and responsibilities often weigh heavily upon you and you may resist "growing up" and taking on the limitations of adult life.

You are friendly and outgoing and have a great sense of fun and playfulness. You are also philosophically minded and often quite outspoken about your convictions and beliefs. Sometimes you get carried away with your enthusiasm of the moment and you tend to exaggerate. You are often a big talker, a big promiser,and you are usually pretty convincing. You do everything in a big way, a generous way. You like to have the best, and you heartily dislike stinginess, littleness, or pettiness. Your vision is always large. You are able to perceive the big picture, general patterns and principles, and are well suited to politics, business, higher education or religion.

Other people see you as a good sport and a good friend, but one who is not always consistent and dependable. You may also be seen as a wise person since you do not get bogged down in pettiness and trivialities, and are able to communicate a larger way of looking at situations, one that opens up new potentials. You are a person who believes in miracles, grace, or just plain good luck, someone who never gives up on life, and you inspire and encourage others to keep looking forward.

Section 2: The Inner You: Your Real Motivation

Serious, disciplined, and quietly ambitious, you are driven to prove yourself and to achieve material accomplishments and success. Your work, your position in the world, and your contributions to society are very important to you. You will persevere through enormous hardship and frustration in order to reach a goal you have set for yourself, and you often sacrifice much in the area of personal relationships and home life in order to do so.

You have a thoughtful, quiet, and self-contained disposition and do not readily show your inner feelings and needs. You seem to be always in control, capable, efficient, and strong. You are often the person in the family or group who is given more responsibility (and more work) than the others. You are highly conscientious and even as a child you possessed a maturity, soberness, and worldly wisdom that was most unchildlike.

You are basically a pragmatic realist, and though you may have all sorts of dreams, ideals and colorful theories, you feel that the ultimate test of a concept is its practical usefulness. You have an innate shrewdness and business sense, and there is a bit of the cynic in you as well.

You are clear-headed, detached and objective, and are not swayed by emotional dramatics. Often you are authoritarian -strictly fair, but without mercy. You have a great respect for tradition and even if you do not agree with certain laws, you will abide by them or work to change them, but never flagrantly disregard them. Careful and conservative, you play by the rules.

You are subtle, understated, quiet, deep, not easy to know intimately, and never superficial. You are a modest person and sometimes overly self-critical. Giving yourself (and others) permission to feel, to play, to be spontaneous and silly, and to be weak and vulnerable sometimes, isn't easy for you.

Your strong points are your depth and thoroughness, patience, tenacity, and faithfulness. Your faults are a tendency to be rigid and inflexible, and too serious.

Section 3: Mental Interests and Abilities

You possess vision and foresight, and your mind is often occupied with big ideas, plans, and goals for the future. You are interested in what is possible and what is on the horizon, rather than what has already been done. The study of philosophy, religion, politics, or education is of interest to you, and you are more concerned with theories and concepts than with specific applications. You are not inclined to focus on any one practical, concrete area; you find it irksome to deal with details and particulars. You have a gambling instinct and enjoy speculative enterprises and new ventures. Business, advertising, and promotion would be good areas for you also.

Section 4: Emotions: Moods, Feelings, Romance

Your desire for harmonious relationships and surroundings is so strong that you avoid personal confrontations or any expression of intense, unpleasant emotions. You are an idealist who would like to paint the world in pastel colors, and live in peace and harmony with others at all times. You are able to see points of similarity and unity with people who are vastly different from yourself, and befriend many different types of people. You are a considerate and thoughtful friend, and have a real flair for making others feel accepted and appreciated. Inwardly you are often torn with indecision and are much more at odds with yourself than others would ever guess from your smooth, even disposition.