People Eating Tasty Animals, which apparently exists to give reporters something to do on slow news days, plans to launch The Cruelty Channel nationwide.
Hilary holds news conference
Reporters disappointed. "If she's not announcing she's getting a divorce, at least she could announce she killed Vince Foster."
Letterman on his speedy recovery
"They used a less invasive method. They came in through my wallet."
Speech so long it included a drum solo.
Fabio on bloody roller coaster incident
"I can't believe I'm not bitter."
Tyson favored to win
Opponent so effeminate he has a bag to match his gloves.
New Philip Morris promotion
Joe Chemo new spokescamel for Frequent Dier Miles.
Olympic runners to be retired to stud farms
15-year-old Ohio boy upsets Michael Johnson upon learning the news.
Internet Stock Collapse Looms
Experts say they'll just make their money selling short.
Regis Philbin does nothing
Still shows up in the popular press.
New dollar bombs in Miami
Dealers complain "you can't snort through a coin."
Happy Birthday Mr. President
Monica Lewinsky admits she didn't know the words, so she hummed it.