April 1, 2001: Saloon

> From the wires

China declares Warner camparign slogan "Bringing Virginia Together" an aggressive threat to West Virginia. Beijing decries "typical American hegemony."

Warner online college course called Tek.Xam. Apparently the class doesn't include spelling.

Earley-Hager GOP race unexpectedly tight. Six million Virginians couldn't spot either one in a lineup.

Gubernatorial candidate sells Frisbees on his Web site. Feds investigate the Brotherhood of Frisbee Workers, Local 163.

Why politicians always include the Eastern Shore on state maps. They need a place to go hide when they lose.

Why do millionaires ask for campaign donations?

Mark Warner, worth a half billion dollars, charges supporters $2 for yard signs. Say this for billionaire chart-flipping gnome Ross Perot: he had the sense to not beg for money. By Jake Tapper Jr.

Candidate sells stadium cups for $5
Hey Mark, for that kind of money it's supposed to have beer inside.

Layoff news: Paine axes Webber

20 percent cutback: just call it
Burger Ki

Downsized: Smith pink-slips Wesson

Greenspan taking fiddle lessons

Mr. Brosnahan's Necessary Disclaimers