Clear Channel Communications
buys exclusive Vatican rights

Wall Street analysts expect layoffs, unit consolidations and higher profits. Theologians-turned-station-managers ponder man's inhumanity to man and the 18-to-34 demographic.

In Depth:
Search underway for Pope Morning Zoo co-host.
Company says every listener is unique just like everybody else.
Altar boys mull switch from pedophiles to audiofiles.


Anna Nicole Smith to star in the Vagina Monologues
In her case, shouldn't it be the travelogue?

New drug cures shyness
Scientists used to call it beer.

Council of the blind donates TV
Hey, we’re not using it.

Jesse Jackson gets involved in Enron case
The Reverend has something in common with Ken Lay -- they have both been caught screwing their employees.

Survey says cemetery costs are rising
Increase blamed on the cost of living.

 

Saudis to score SAT tests this year
Two plus two equals death to America.

Investors dump Starbucks of Kabul
Auditing by Arthur Anderson bad enough, but the real deal killer was having insurance through Mutual of Taliban.

Bush sends troops to East Urstupistan

bin Laden speaks
Predicts lower hemlines on Paris runways this fall.



Harry Potter actor turns out to be 21 years old
We thought he was the oldest Wizard around -- but then
we remembered Michael Jordan.

Global warming to make planet a fiery, breathing Hell
Apparently this is not a problem until Warren Buffett starts to cash out. Cigarette companies sue for back taxes
If it was wrong to sell hazardous products, then it must have been really wrong for the government to tax them.

D-Con in fed safey recall
Test show D-Con is hazardous to mice

 

 

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