Okay, astrology is stupid

But what about big powers of coincidence?

The idea that there are forces from the great beyond impacting our lives is widely considered ridiculous, except, of course, when it involves religion.

Horoscopes, sometimes legally disclaimed as "for entertainment purposes only," have held sway over many people for centuries. Scientists/psychologists have a simple explanation for the appeal, and it's this. You only remember the forecasts on days they come true; it's pure chance and coincidence. You don't remember the ones that miss, which, according to the laws of chance, would be most of the time.

I've only met one real-life astronomer in my life, and when I told him I was a Capricorn, he said "So you about lost it all in 93, eh?" This was pretty interesting to me, since I lost a career, a wife and two homes in that time frame. A little later in the conversation, he told me that me and my ex were the worst possible astrological combination. "Now you tell me," was all I could muster.

My passing fancy, my habit of reading my horoscope every day in the newspaper as a curiosity, was recently put to test. On January 13th, Saturn moved retrograde in Libra, which one astrologer said would mean "challenging career issues."

I'll say. Got laid off, totally out of the blue, on that day.

January 15th was listed as momentous because of a solar eclipse in Capricorn. Funny thing. My laptop blew up that day, taking thousands of dollars of software, thousands of songs and years of data with it.

With such coincidences in my mind, I looked at my forecast for the rest of the year -- and boy is it ugly -- "no part of your life goes untouched this year: home, family, relationships, career and personal identity. With major planets squaring off in the Alpha-dog cardinal signs (Aries, Cancer, Libra, Capricorn), it’s all up for review and reinvention."

Supposedly the stars will get better for me in June, but considering how much of that month I'll spend agonizing over the U.S. in the World Cup, I'm trying to not get overly optimistic.

Because there's a far bigger issue at hand.

***

A long-term undercurrent in my life is my girlfriend's desire to move to California and be with the rest of her family, who have all moved that way in recent years. It's a much better deal for her than me, so it's been unspoken but clear for quite some time. She'll be moving out there on her own. Ten years together, ten years without a fight, will come to an end. Nothing personal, I tell myself, just family. Sad, but nothing to get mad about. Family is important.

So with my horoscope dominated by loss and change and upheaval, and what does her say? "A cross-country move is possible. ... this year evolves your relationship with your mother, daughter or other important female. ... A year of luck and expansion around home, family."

Great.

Since staying under the covers for six months is not an option I try to not get sucked into astrological hokum and just move on and forget about cosmic events. Emphasis on try.

On March 10th there was a big development in that potential cross country move, not anything final but a big, big deal. And what does her horoscope say? March 10th: "Mars moves direct into Leo (through June 6). Powerhouse cycle for making your mark on the world and taking a bold chance."

Power of coincidence, I say. Power of coincidence. And I'm going to keep saying that even as a couple crucial dates approach on my chart.

Be nice to remember one that didn't come true.

***

I'd like to suggest the important thing here isn't astrology but adaptability. Guess what -- life can be cruel and unfair, and it can be glorious and thrilling. It's quite useful to learn how to shrug things off and move on; it's the stress that kills you. Head to the beach and have a beer already.

So I'd like to close by thanking astrologers for all their work over the centuries. There's a real comfort here. Yeah, things have been rough, but it's no big deal. Nothing I can do about it.

It's in the stars.

-30-

Mr. Marshall's horoscope for the day he posted this entry: "Go ahead and conquer the world. You can if you want to, you know; it's your choice."

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