Sing all you want about the ABCs of love, but always take time for the exes and whys.

As to those ABCs:

--- write real honest love letters. It's a lost art and it's appreciated. Two-thirds of the planet has yet to make its first phone call. Millions of women have not received their first love letter. Change that.

--- to quote from Ally McBeal, if you don't kiss her on the first date, you're a gentleman. If you don't kiss her on the second, you're gay. Always balance the hypersensitivity of the times with the deeply buried female appeal of the bodice ripper. Never confuse a longing for passion with an invitation to anything. Consider buying an owner's manual.

--- what will drive one woman wild will completely creep another woman out. This is especially true with toes. Yes, you are supposed to be a mind reader.

--- never underestimate the power of a footrub, the appeal of a hot drawn bath steeped with heather, or the value of that shoulder she is crying upon. Life is often not person-to-person but role-to-role. Appreciate the power of gesture.

--- remember the Groucho Marx admonition: "I wouldn't belong to any club that would have me as a member." It's not who you like, it's who likes you back. Women can sleep with anyone they want to. Men can only sleep with women who let them.

---surely it's no coincidence that after decades of TV sitcoms that relyied on workplace sexual tension as a dramatic vehicle, Generation X does not buy the oft-mentioned Biblical doctrine of not giving thy rod to thy staff.

--- anthropologists have concluded that it's universal among cultures for women to be attracted by money, status or power. It explains both Bill Clinton and many a bar scene. And size does matter. The size of the wallet.

--- passionate love is largely chemical and wears off only slightly slower than hangovers. Compassionate love is what's left after all that's gone. A mandatory two-year engagement could preclude a lot of divorces. To quote Lewis Grizzard: "I don't think I'll get married again. I'll just find a woman I hate and give her my house."