gl the mag | bedside astrologer | G.L. Marshall

Libra

Find Venus in a Libra and you've got the marrying kind. In Cosmo, I learned if a man stands with his hands in his pockets, body language pointing toward his package, he's good in bed. Now see why Cosmo runs a monthly horoscope?

Scorpio

Check out Neptune in Scorpio. Scorpio rules sex and Neptune rules drugs. This combination was in effect from 1958 to 1970. Just thought you might want to know.

Sagittarius

Pluto enters Sagittarius in 2000 and somehow this launches the Age of Aquarius. Pluto was actually in Aquarius during the American and French Revolutions. If Cosmo had been around, it would have run features on how to put your hips on a pillow to better enjoy the guillotine.

Capricorn
The author is a textbook Capricorn with a Libra-moon. Feeling unique? Psychologists and demographers can always lump you into a larger segment, so why should astrologers be any different?

Aquarius
It may have dawned on you that the world is not a hippy, happy place. In Cosmo, I learned to put my sheets in the freezer before fun on a hot summer night. Make your own sunshine, superman.

Pisces
Some Pisces have beautiful eyes. Liz Taylor is a Pisces. And people say astrology can't be proven.

Aries

In Cosmo, I learned about the all-important pudendal nerve (from whence, perhaps, the term, "pounding your pud.")

Taurus

In Cosmo, I learned about the all-important pelvic nerve (from whence, perhaps, the term, "Yes, yes, yes!!")

Gemini

Romantic prospects between Geminis and Capricorns are "bleak" according to astrology.net. Considering the ex is a Gemini, don't tell me information isn't power.

Cancer

Ernest Hemingway was a Cancer. Doubt he would have read Cosmo, but he would have enjoyed the pictures, at least until all the models started looking like starved little boys.

Leo

When Leo is in Uranus sounds like the start of a prison joke, but it's actually a combination dedicated to free love. This sign will ink in the answers to the Cosmo quiz and then leave the mag in the waiting room.

Virgo

Saturn in Virgo creates the deadbeat lovers complained about in Cosmo. Keep reading until you find the article about how to dump him with style. You don't need to see stars to dump a loser.

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G.L. Marshall's birth sign was No Admittance.

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G.L. Marshall, a Richmond, Virginia web designer specializing in download optimization, site creation and information architecture, also runs a monthly magazine.

In addition to updated content when he's not helping clients with affordable web design, the content provider writes essays. The monthly on-line magazine, when he's not building web sites or being a freelance writer, is called gl the mag. In this issue of the zine, he's light on the political commentary and news analysis and instead focuses on CBS Television's proposed show "Survivor." Other topics in GLTHEMAG include Pete Rose, Jim Grey, Charles Schulz, Charlie Brown, UPI, the Bangkok World, the United Features Syndicate and Christmas traditions. He likes to read BrozNews every day. In his magazine, previous topics have ranged from dating tips and relationships and news analysis to quick rants on all things web.

The G.L. stands for Gary Lee, and Marshall spends his daytime hours as a websmith, a freelance web site creator and designer who's an expert in making sites load faster and read better. His catchphrase is "a better speedbump on the infobahn" and www.glmarshall.com is home to a business site, a monthly magazine and Escape From Heaven, an on-line novel.

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