1 Number of lives lived by Elvis Presley.

2 Percentage of web banners that are actually clicked.

3 Number of nipples, Chandler Bing

4 Losses to start a season by every modern NFL expansion team.

7 Average length, in seconds, of average soundbite.

10 Number of witnesses to Pete Rose betting on baseball.

10:1 Ratio of a river's width to average distance to next bend.

12 TV dial position of a Richmond, Va. television news operation that hasn't reported a fact that wasn't handed to them this year.

14 Number of times, in '70s high school, the author asked out Terry Huber before she said yes to a date.

15.7 Current average age in years American women lose their virginity. (Most common time: 4:30 p.m.)

28 Speed, in mph, of initial burst of male ejaculate.

30 Amount, in thousands, a U.S. Senator must raise each week to finance his re-election campaign.

31 Potential number of substitutes in an NFL game. In World Cup soccer: 3.

93 Sum total, measurements of Playboy's Miss November.

96 Pages of footnotes in the David Foster Wallace novel "Infinite Jest."

486 Price, in thousands, of world's first computer.

1,409 Days between wins, Cleveland Browns.

1599 Price, in dollars, of a Macintosh G4 supercomputer on a chip.

2001 Actual start of the new millenium.

5,678,661,795,378.98 In dollars, the all-time record national debt as of 10-29-99 -- the day President Clinton announced the debt had gone down. More proof of why I had to get out of journalism -- I always had to write "said today" instead of "lied today."

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   G.L. Marshall looks forward to The Harper's Index every month.